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  • Writer's pictureV.M. Weisen

Battle of the Ego

Updated: Nov 27, 2019

I was going to talk about this last week, but my hand got in the way. This won't be a long post since I'm still without a right hand and have yet to find a dictation program I like.

Mentally I'm okay. My husband is killing it, so that helps. Writing wise I'm at a dead stop and it's driving me insane, but I was ahead of schedule so it's not the end of the world. Seeing everyone's Nanowrimo posts hurts. I've been a loyal participant for years, but I'll just have to hit Camp extra hard when it comes around.

In an earlier post I mentioned how the thought of getting rejections would crush my soul and that's why I wanted to self publish... that wasn't entirely true. Rejections would suck, to be clear, but plenty about the writing process sucks. I still love and do it.

A couple weeks ago my husband convinced me I should traditionally publish these books to save money. Cool. I started looking up agents and making lists. But the more I immersed myself in the traditional mindset the more I realized what a horrible fit it was for this series. Still, that had to be fear and ego talking, right? I started really digging and getting hard numbers and facts. I knew I'd created this series with self publishing in mind, but surely it could convert to traditional publishing without issue... Except it can't. The deeper I dug, the more one thing became clear:

Traditional publishing will kill this series.

I had to take a long look at a lot of things, but in the end I've decided to stick to my self publishing guns. It's not the right decision for every project, but it is for this one. It was a rocky, emotional rollercoaster, but it was one I think every author should jump on with every project. I firmly believe if we don't evaluate different courses and identify which ones are being pointed at by our hearts, egos, and whatever other influencers decide to jump in, then we are missing out on some important self reflection.

Okay, okay, I'm done now. It just felt like an important thing to mention that self publishing was not a decision made lightly and it is one I am still digging at. Thank you for your time.

**steps off soap box.


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